The Convenience of Security!!

I was home this past weekend. “Home” … just the thought of it makes you end up smiling. The flight in to Delhi seemed the longest flight that I’ve ever taken; and this in spite of the awesome cookies that were served, the unusually pretty airhostesses (I was on Spice Jet) and the great view looking out of the plane window(night flight). Delhi was divine…friends, family, “familiar strangers”, the broad roads that I know, the blue Wagon R, familiar music, familiar language, great food…that’s what I call home!!

That incidentally reminds me….I kinda forgot to tell a friend of my vacation plans. So here’s an official apology!! I know you’re gonna tell me in that sing-song tone of urs… “Look, Its ok!!” I know it ain’t…! It shouldn’t be!!! You oughta just tell me that you didn’t like it....Please… you have that right!!!

Delhi, most papers said, was almost a guarded fortress this time around. Paunchy policemen with never used rifles stationed at almost every corner. Shaky traffic barricades on all major roads resulting in long serpentine queues of Toyotas Mercs Hondas Skodas and the likes. Rickety white gypsies with sirens and sleepy looking cops assumingly ‘patrolling’ the city! Yeah…I felt really safe!!

I was to fly back in Air Deccan on the 16th. My first experience with the airlines and I was looking forward to it. India’s No. 1 low cost airlines and I was looking forward to flying it. Now 'low cost' we all know in our country means poor service. Security issues make it worse!!

The check-in counters had huge lines. Seemed as though the boarding cards were being distributed for free. I went and stood in one of the queues hoping that mine would move faster…I had this eerie dejavu feeling. That’s when I realized that I used to get the same feeling standing in the queue to get my DTC bus pass made!! Rs. 12.50 for 1 month!!!

I rechecked if I was in fact I was in the right queue. I have this habit of standing in the wrong queue and not realize it till very late. This one counter in the corner looked empty …I broke off and walked to the counter.

LADY: Yes sir?
ME: Errr….I have this ticket….I mean a print out.
(I passed the infinitely times folded paper to her. She looked at me with disgust and I pretended to look away. )
LADY: ID!
ME: Excuse me!
LADY: (sternly) Where is your ID proof!?
ME: (fumbling in my pockets) Here!!
(She looks at the I Card and then at me…and then again at the I-card and at me….)
ME: That’s me….!! (Trying to make a face similar to the one I’d made on the photograph).
LADY: (Prints the boarding card looking very disappointed…makes the grumpiest face possible) Thank You for flying Air De@#$#$!@!. (I couldn’t hear the last part properly coz it was mumbled!!)

I walked off with a sense of achievement. I strode towards the security check with my bag on my shoulder only to fine another DTC buss pass look alike queue. And this one didn’t seem to have an end! So I stood there and about 20 minutes later I could see 2 paunchy security men frisking people as though feeling them up and rampaging through the handbags. By the time I could realize it…I was the next.

SG: What’s in the bag?
Me: Umm... Clothes!!
SG: Anything else….? Gels, toothpaste, any liquid??( sounded robotic)
Me: Don’t think so!
SG: (mockingly) who will know then??(Opens it up and starts going through my stuff…essentials and everything)
Me: (Embarrassed) there’s nothing!!
SG: (stuffs everything back in in the worst manner possible and puts it in the XRAY machine as though it’ll show something else!): That way….!(angrily) Put your mobile in the machine!!

I move to the other guard who asks me to empty my pockets and moves this funny looking beeping instrument across my body and then frisks me as though he were getting some kinda pleasure outta it!! I weave my way through feeling…errr….molested ….only to see another serpentine queue for the boarding! It’s been an hour and a half since I entered the airport!! I wonder how much longer it’s gonna take!

I move up and get my bag checked again! What the SG! And the ex-ray can’t do, Mr. SG-2 will do!! So he calls me out of the line and starts emptying my bag again…IN A CORNER!!!! I protest…he says “security”. So I shut up and let him do what he has to do!! A man’s gotta do what he’s gotta do!! He puts it all bag and hands it back and points at me as though telling me... “I’ll get ya next time!!” I move to the bus…..dog tired by now. I get a push from behind by a person trying to get in the bus. And I get the DTC feeling yet again!!

SECURITY – Is this the cost of it??