HATE IT...LOVE IT...CAN'T IGNORE IT

Weird thing….I’m actually starting to enjoy my stay in Calcutta. Crib as much as I may, but I am glad that I came here*. This statement however comes with a star if you look closely.

* This however, does not mean that I do not want to go back to Delhi. Delhi is much better any day.

Getting back to the point, Kolkata’s never short of action. If it’s not anything else, it’ll be the rains which will bring the action into your life. Torrential is the word…I haven’t seen as heavy a downpour in my life ever. Just when u think it can’t get heavier it does…and just when you think it wouldn’t stop it does. It rains for 20 mins half an hour and then abruptly stops.

I’ve found this really cool bowling joint in Kolkata**. Not very expensive and it has beer too. (Not that I am a beer guzzler, but it always helps to increase the fun you’re having). So I usually spend my saturday evenings there.

** Cool by Kolkata standards, which as a matter of fact aren’t very high.

Talking about action…Rakhi Sawant was in Kol this past weekend. Now that’s some serious action for people here. The tickets were going for 600 bucks a person***!!! They were serving drinks too....

***(Okay…I admit I did ask for the price….but it was more because of me getting bored than anything else! I AM NOT A RAKHI SAWANT FAN!!)

Watched Ahista Ahista this weekend as well….decent flick…a lil slow!! But I guess, I should’ve understood that by the name …..Soha Ali looks good and acts well! I think shez the prettiest thing to happen after Preity Zinta… You gotta see it….its different….realistic :).

I also managed to get stuck in the rain a couple of days back. As a matter of pride, I refuse to carry an umbrella with me. I used to hate it in school and I hate it now. Then I had no option….now I do. However, all who’ve been in Kolkata would consider me stoopid after reading the statement that I just made. I don’t care….I wouldn’t be seen dead with an umbrella in my hand….not now…not ever! I guess I have something against umbrella’s!

Now…. Kolkata is dirty….and rains make it dirtier….The roads give in, there’s water logging everywhere and there are cars still driving at 60 kmph splashing the muddy rain water on you.

Here are a few facts…rather laws regarding Kolkata …!

• The probability of a passing by car/bus splashing muddy water on you is directly proportional to the importance of the occasion you are dressed up for.
• Between any two potholes there is always a road.
• If matters get worse, one pothole is always bigger than the other
• The depth of the pothole is inversely proportional to the product of its visibility and the speed you are driving at.
• No matter what you wear….No matter where you go….No matter what you do…you WILL get wet.
• No matter what you do, you cannot avoid a pothole. Avoiding one will lead you into another.
  Always be ready to take your shoes off and walk it. When it rains, there will be waterlogging and you will have to do it.
• No matter what you do, your clothes will never dry!!

Hey did I mention that I tried crab soup?? It looked more like a normal sweet corn with egg in it….I had to search for the crab in it with a magnifying glass which I forgot to carry with me….! The pieces were so small that they dint even have a taste….Disappointing crab!

Works going ok…september’s the D-month. Gotta finish my work by then…so a lil more seriousness has to come in….Can’t see it coming from anywhere.

More soon…..coz now is not forever!

The Convenience of Security!!

I was home this past weekend. “Home” … just the thought of it makes you end up smiling. The flight in to Delhi seemed the longest flight that I’ve ever taken; and this in spite of the awesome cookies that were served, the unusually pretty airhostesses (I was on Spice Jet) and the great view looking out of the plane window(night flight). Delhi was divine…friends, family, “familiar strangers”, the broad roads that I know, the blue Wagon R, familiar music, familiar language, great food…that’s what I call home!!

That incidentally reminds me….I kinda forgot to tell a friend of my vacation plans. So here’s an official apology!! I know you’re gonna tell me in that sing-song tone of urs… “Look, Its ok!!” I know it ain’t…! It shouldn’t be!!! You oughta just tell me that you didn’t like it....Please… you have that right!!!

Delhi, most papers said, was almost a guarded fortress this time around. Paunchy policemen with never used rifles stationed at almost every corner. Shaky traffic barricades on all major roads resulting in long serpentine queues of Toyotas Mercs Hondas Skodas and the likes. Rickety white gypsies with sirens and sleepy looking cops assumingly ‘patrolling’ the city! Yeah…I felt really safe!!

I was to fly back in Air Deccan on the 16th. My first experience with the airlines and I was looking forward to it. India’s No. 1 low cost airlines and I was looking forward to flying it. Now 'low cost' we all know in our country means poor service. Security issues make it worse!!

The check-in counters had huge lines. Seemed as though the boarding cards were being distributed for free. I went and stood in one of the queues hoping that mine would move faster…I had this eerie dejavu feeling. That’s when I realized that I used to get the same feeling standing in the queue to get my DTC bus pass made!! Rs. 12.50 for 1 month!!!

I rechecked if I was in fact I was in the right queue. I have this habit of standing in the wrong queue and not realize it till very late. This one counter in the corner looked empty …I broke off and walked to the counter.

LADY: Yes sir?
ME: Errr….I have this ticket….I mean a print out.
(I passed the infinitely times folded paper to her. She looked at me with disgust and I pretended to look away. )
LADY: ID!
ME: Excuse me!
LADY: (sternly) Where is your ID proof!?
ME: (fumbling in my pockets) Here!!
(She looks at the I Card and then at me…and then again at the I-card and at me….)
ME: That’s me….!! (Trying to make a face similar to the one I’d made on the photograph).
LADY: (Prints the boarding card looking very disappointed…makes the grumpiest face possible) Thank You for flying Air De@#$#$!@!. (I couldn’t hear the last part properly coz it was mumbled!!)

I walked off with a sense of achievement. I strode towards the security check with my bag on my shoulder only to fine another DTC buss pass look alike queue. And this one didn’t seem to have an end! So I stood there and about 20 minutes later I could see 2 paunchy security men frisking people as though feeling them up and rampaging through the handbags. By the time I could realize it…I was the next.

SG: What’s in the bag?
Me: Umm... Clothes!!
SG: Anything else….? Gels, toothpaste, any liquid??( sounded robotic)
Me: Don’t think so!
SG: (mockingly) who will know then??(Opens it up and starts going through my stuff…essentials and everything)
Me: (Embarrassed) there’s nothing!!
SG: (stuffs everything back in in the worst manner possible and puts it in the XRAY machine as though it’ll show something else!): That way….!(angrily) Put your mobile in the machine!!

I move to the other guard who asks me to empty my pockets and moves this funny looking beeping instrument across my body and then frisks me as though he were getting some kinda pleasure outta it!! I weave my way through feeling…errr….molested ….only to see another serpentine queue for the boarding! It’s been an hour and a half since I entered the airport!! I wonder how much longer it’s gonna take!

I move up and get my bag checked again! What the SG! And the ex-ray can’t do, Mr. SG-2 will do!! So he calls me out of the line and starts emptying my bag again…IN A CORNER!!!! I protest…he says “security”. So I shut up and let him do what he has to do!! A man’s gotta do what he’s gotta do!! He puts it all bag and hands it back and points at me as though telling me... “I’ll get ya next time!!” I move to the bus…..dog tired by now. I get a push from behind by a person trying to get in the bus. And I get the DTC feeling yet again!!

SECURITY – Is this the cost of it??

Beauty...how much is too much?

Do you love me because I'm beautiful,
or am I am beautiful because you love me?

I read this a while back and it made me think.....What is beauty?? Who defines it??? Masses or me? Is there a limit..?? How much is good for you??

Here are a few pics for you...I think all and I repeat ALL of them are beautiful!!


Sonmarg....i was mesmerised by the green!

That is a real picture....Ladakh. Mesmerised by the Brown!!

This is Real too...heard of heaven on earth?? Mesmerising BLUE!!

Keep looking...Beautiful!! Ain't it??

Rowing towards the destiny....Mesmerising Gray!!!

Thats Calcutta for the uninitiated!

Black mesmerises too!

Dream on...!!

I was watching Austin Powers the other day (For the umpteenth time. I love the movie!!). The spy happened to have a diary which was a ready reckoner for him. He had written about things that he wanted to do in his life. One of the points happened to be "Have threesome with Chinese twins".

Funny...ehh...?? But he wrote what he had to write and did what he had to do! Here are a few things that I wanna do. My list is not half as weird and not half as interesting as Mr. Powers'. But here goes...


1) Bungee Jump off the top of a bridge. (I’m afraid of heights yet I rilly wanna do this)
2) Go snorkeling in the Caribbean. (The pictures are wayyy too tempting)
3) Paraglide (It’d be just awesome to loose all control and just floatttt….)
4) Open a restaurant of my own which has an awesome ambience, great grub and most importantly liquor at reasonable rates.(Hanji sir, we sure will own it...)
5) Go on an unplanned "flash" trip to anywhere in my very own SUV.(Gotta have willing people with me though!)
6) Own a bungalow/flat by the seaside with a window in my bedroom opening to the fresh sea breeze. (One day!! ONE DAY!!….I just love the sea. I have an office overlooking a lake but it’s not nearly the same!)
7) Travel on a luxury cruise liner. (Ultimate definition of an accentuated vacation for me)
8) Sit on a Rollercoaster that does 360’s!(The thrill would be unparalleled)
9) Visit Disneyland (Always wanted to…even now. Who wants to tag along? Wouldn’t find too many takers!!)
10) Get sloshed just for the heck of it. (Just to see what it feels like….)
11) This one is very close to me.....Smile for an entire day and see everybody around me smile as well! (I seriously hope tis one comes true)


Smile on!!!! Coz u know…Nowz not forever!!

Days Go On and ON!!

This'll be long. I had this weird urge to write something today. I doesn't usually happen to me...but I guess today was just one of those days! I was feeling miserable all of yesterday. Reason? Coz I was thinking a lot. Thinking...it makes me grouchy!! Here's an account of a normal day for me..

It starts with me waking up at 8 in the morning and getting done with the 'usuals' by about 9. Thats also when I have my breakfast delivered at the doorstep everyday.More often than not I know what'd be inside those cardboard dabbas...Rotis with aaloo ki sabzi. Yup...thats my breakfast ...day after day....week after week!! I'm sure the caterer has done a Diploma in aaloo cookery. I haven'thad as much aaloo in my entire 25 years.Sundays are a respite as the guy does not deliver on Sunday and I can have whatever I feel like or nothing at all!

I gulp it down in 10 mins as though its a medicine often not even cherishing the taste (very uncharacteristic of me).I walk to the same auto shop and take an auto which takes 15 mins to take me to office. The autos are weird here. They have a concept of shared autos. 3 people at the back and 2 in the front with the driver. The traffic is horrendous. I don't forget to thank God every day for making me see one more day! I reach office by about 9:40. The first thing I do is open my mails and hope against hope that somebody remembered me. Often all I end up reading are "fwds" and "All at Kolkata" mails. 10's when I start to think ...what next? I call it the "what next" analysis!

Almost every alternate day I try and meet my boss. I have a 17% success rate!Which means I get to meet him 17 times out of a 100 tries;which I must add is pretty god going considering how busy he is. The boss...I think he thinks faster than he can talk so often what he is trying to imply goes right over me reminding me of the "Financial Accounting" ke lectures. Its almost the same "clueless" feeling. I often walk out feeling," I wish I hadn't gone in!"Having done what I needed to do I come back and do the "What next" analysis again. Often it ends up in me staring at the montitor for an hour and surfing random sites.

I do go on regular "data hunts" as well. Its for the numbers I need for my project to make it look like a project which has been worked upon. My strike rate here is even poorer 0.17% would be more like it.I often get shooed away by people... I now know what dogs feel like when I shoo them off. At times ( & I repeat at times) I do get what I am looking for. Its more out of poeple getting irritated with my persevearance than anything else.U know...its the "jobless-guy-will-pester-give-data" feeling that they probabaly go through when they see me.

Once I have what I want, I sit with it and start going through people's blogs. Today I'm updating mine as well. Its more like waiting for the clock to strike 1 coz thats when I get to eat!! (One of my favouritest things in life nowadays!). An hour is the lunch time which often extends to 2.
I come back to my seat determined to work ....a little. So what do i do....... I look at the data. Open the excel and strt working atleast pretending that I am working. Ofcourse I need my breaks coz pretending to work is tough....U try it!!I always have my internal messenger open. I've learnt quite a bit in excel...thanks to a friend of mine and I keep testing my newly attained knowledge on the numbers in front of me. Its 5 and the wait for the clock to strike 6 starts. Dot 6 and I'm outta there!

Reach home by 6:30 and then an hour for the TV.I either get bored of it by then or I just sleep off on the couch. Often I go sit on the net for while and check again if anyone remembered me! Orkut helps a lot....connect to my world!!!Kolkata still feels awesomely alienic (thats my term for aliener that alien)

8:30 dinner...we have a fixed list of 5 restaurants around our house where we go on a rotational basis and also depending on the financial condition which in my case happens to be poor all the time..and especially now that I purcashed the N 70!!My usual dinner...Egg Chicken Fried rice...each plate of which costs me 28 rupees!I come back and get back to my "what next" analysis.

Thats when the phone comes in handy and so does the 3000 rupees of free calls each month...thanks to airtel!Some lucky people get to here from me...but then I fear that they'd start to think in terms of "jobless-guy-will-pester-haveto-talk". So I get off and put on my headphones with the music playing till I am ready to doze off!

I don't even know if I should be complaining!!