They said..."You're doing it again...!! Forget it...We don't wanna talk..". "But I'm not!!!...its just that I'm eating...(Its been a tough day...)...."
And then there was silence. The phone had gone off.. and the words echoed in my ears..
Do I really become someone else? Do I change?
Brain: No u dont...U try too hard and overdo it.
Heart: Overdo what?? Either I do it or I don't....where does overdo come from ..?
Brain: Thats your problem..You're not even willing to listen
Heart: I listen....I always listen...I've always been listening!
Brain: Thats what u've done to urself...
Heart: What? What..."Pray tell..."
Brain: Nothing...just forget it....
Heart: Forget what??
Brain: You'll not understand....U can't ever understand.You know what your problem is...you take everything upon u...anything that goes wrong...u think its because of u.....
Heart: It is....I did it again....I become someone else....!
Brain: You try too hard...maybe if u just let go of urself u'd be more u!!
Heart: Doesn't work...I am a no gooder...
Brain: U are...thats why u are what u are....U wouldn't be where u are if u were a no gooder...
Heart: Professionally maybe....personally, I am nothing but a dissapointment...
Brain: It'll be ok....You'll get there....keep at it..& quit pretending!
Heart: What do i do?? What do i do?? I wanna run away....
Brain: As if....
Heart: What??
Brain: As if thats a solution....
Heart: No its not!
Brain: There u go..
Heart: Patience...I wish they'd be more patient with me....I am not a bad person....I want them to be happy.....All I do is end up adding to their misery Can't live up to the expectations...
Brain: And Why....ever thought? Maybe u try too hard....maybe u are scared of something...
Heart: Failing!
Brain: You'll ensure it if u continue ur ways...
Heart: What do i do? What do i do??
Today has been a bad day...whatever I've done...said has backfired on me...I wouldn't wanna go in the details but it has all gone horrible wrong. Has been one of the worst days...& thinking that yesterday I was the happiest I've been in a long time....Life does pull u down...REAL HARD when it decides too...and u can't do anything but freefall and hope that when you hit the rock bottom, you don't get hurt. You know you'll have to climb again....and you know you'd fall again...and again and again!
The fall is much worse if u end up feeling that you were at fault.....or maybe if you are made to believe that you were at fault. Its much worse if you've been trying hard....Its much worse if you think you're climbing well...Its much worse if you can't break it...try as u might!
At such times i am reminded of something which my grandma once told me once when I came back almost in tears coz others would tease me that I'm too fat....I'd always try hard to fit it...participate in races, come last (be made fun of) and not tell anyone at home..Ignore all the hurtful (nicknames ranging from "hathi" to "sumo" to"fatso") that you'd get..
She said...
"You are what you are...be proud of it...you don't have to fit in...be what you want to be...let the world follow u..."
I ignored her...and i have been ignoring her...trying to be Tanuj Kapoor who others want to see.....and in amongst all this I think I've lost the real me...I don't recognize him anymore...Was he talkative or was he quiet? Was he fun loving or was he serious? Did he make fun of others or did he join in when somebody was being made fun of? Did he like being laughed at or did he detest it....? Where is me?? Who am I? Who have I become....
All I ever did was....Try and fit in....All I try to do now is...try to fit in....I wanna break free....do what I wanna do...not let them complain...not let them troubled coz of me...cos this is what I am...I wish i had listened to u dadima..I wish I would listen to u now....but I can't promise...I wouldn't dare to do that...for the fear that I wouldn't "fit in"...
This one is for me....I think Ciara was thinking of me when she wrote this.....
Everyone Wants To Be Like The Other
Look Around And You Will Discover
Take A Chance And Try Something Different
Don't Be Scared You Might Make A Difference
Some People Might Call You Crazy
And They May Laugh At You And Says You A Fool
But You Cant Care If They Say Cause
Before You Know It They'll Be Following You
Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da [x3]
Get In Fit In Get Out Get Out [x2]
If U Want Some Come Get Some
You Don't Want None Come Get Some
Say Iche Me Son
Itche Me Son
Get In Fit In Get Out Get Out [x2]
Try So Hard To Copy My Style
Take A Lesson Ill Show You How
But Why Not Try To Do Something Different
Take A Chance You Might Make A Difference
Some People Might Call You Crazy
And They May Laugh At You And Says You A Fool
But You Cant Care If They Say Cause
Before You Know It They'll Be Following You
Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da [x3]
Get In Fit In Get Out Get Out [x2]
If U Want Some Come Get Some
You Don't Want None Come Get Some
Say Itche Me Son
Itche Me Son
Get In Fit In Get Out Get Out [x2]
[Talking:]
Now This Ones For Everybody Thats Right
I Need For You To Try Something Different
Now You Can Move Move How You Want It
And You Can Do Do What You Wanted
Thats Right I Said It
Get In Fit In Get Out Get Out [x2]
If U Want Some Come Get Some
You Don't Want None Come Get Some
Say Itche Me Son
Itche Me Son
Get In Fit In Get Out Get Out [x2]
Some People Might Call You Crazy
And They May Laugh At You And Says You A Fool
But You Cant Care If They Say Cause
Before You Know It They'll Be Following You
Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da [x3]
Thats Right I'm Done
Itche Me Son
Itche Me Son
Do [x14]
Itche Me Son
Do [x14]
Itche Me Son
And then there was silence. The phone had gone off.. and the words echoed in my ears..
Do I really become someone else? Do I change?
Brain: No u dont...U try too hard and overdo it.
Heart: Overdo what?? Either I do it or I don't....where does overdo come from ..?
Brain: Thats your problem..You're not even willing to listen
Heart: I listen....I always listen...I've always been listening!
Brain: Thats what u've done to urself...
Heart: What? What..."Pray tell..."
Brain: Nothing...just forget it....
Heart: Forget what??
Brain: You'll not understand....U can't ever understand.You know what your problem is...you take everything upon u...anything that goes wrong...u think its because of u.....
Heart: It is....I did it again....I become someone else....!
Brain: You try too hard...maybe if u just let go of urself u'd be more u!!
Heart: Doesn't work...I am a no gooder...
Brain: U are...thats why u are what u are....U wouldn't be where u are if u were a no gooder...
Heart: Professionally maybe....personally, I am nothing but a dissapointment...
Brain: It'll be ok....You'll get there....keep at it..& quit pretending!
Heart: What do i do?? What do i do?? I wanna run away....
Brain: As if....
Heart: What??
Brain: As if thats a solution....
Heart: No its not!
Brain: There u go..
Heart: Patience...I wish they'd be more patient with me....I am not a bad person....I want them to be happy.....All I do is end up adding to their misery Can't live up to the expectations...
Brain: And Why....ever thought? Maybe u try too hard....maybe u are scared of something...
Heart: Failing!
Brain: You'll ensure it if u continue ur ways...
Heart: What do i do? What do i do??
Today has been a bad day...whatever I've done...said has backfired on me...I wouldn't wanna go in the details but it has all gone horrible wrong. Has been one of the worst days...& thinking that yesterday I was the happiest I've been in a long time....Life does pull u down...REAL HARD when it decides too...and u can't do anything but freefall and hope that when you hit the rock bottom, you don't get hurt. You know you'll have to climb again....and you know you'd fall again...and again and again!
The fall is much worse if u end up feeling that you were at fault.....or maybe if you are made to believe that you were at fault. Its much worse if you've been trying hard....Its much worse if you think you're climbing well...Its much worse if you can't break it...try as u might!
At such times i am reminded of something which my grandma once told me once when I came back almost in tears coz others would tease me that I'm too fat....I'd always try hard to fit it...participate in races, come last (be made fun of) and not tell anyone at home..Ignore all the hurtful (nicknames ranging from "hathi" to "sumo" to"fatso") that you'd get..
She said...
"You are what you are...be proud of it...you don't have to fit in...be what you want to be...let the world follow u..."
I ignored her...and i have been ignoring her...trying to be Tanuj Kapoor who others want to see.....and in amongst all this I think I've lost the real me...I don't recognize him anymore...Was he talkative or was he quiet? Was he fun loving or was he serious? Did he make fun of others or did he join in when somebody was being made fun of? Did he like being laughed at or did he detest it....? Where is me?? Who am I? Who have I become....
All I ever did was....Try and fit in....All I try to do now is...try to fit in....I wanna break free....do what I wanna do...not let them complain...not let them troubled coz of me...cos this is what I am...I wish i had listened to u dadima..I wish I would listen to u now....but I can't promise...I wouldn't dare to do that...for the fear that I wouldn't "fit in"...
This one is for me....I think Ciara was thinking of me when she wrote this.....
Everyone Wants To Be Like The Other
Look Around And You Will Discover
Take A Chance And Try Something Different
Don't Be Scared You Might Make A Difference
Some People Might Call You Crazy
And They May Laugh At You And Says You A Fool
But You Cant Care If They Say Cause
Before You Know It They'll Be Following You
Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da [x3]
Get In Fit In Get Out Get Out [x2]
If U Want Some Come Get Some
You Don't Want None Come Get Some
Say Iche Me Son
Itche Me Son
Get In Fit In Get Out Get Out [x2]
Try So Hard To Copy My Style
Take A Lesson Ill Show You How
But Why Not Try To Do Something Different
Take A Chance You Might Make A Difference
Some People Might Call You Crazy
And They May Laugh At You And Says You A Fool
But You Cant Care If They Say Cause
Before You Know It They'll Be Following You
Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da [x3]
Get In Fit In Get Out Get Out [x2]
If U Want Some Come Get Some
You Don't Want None Come Get Some
Say Itche Me Son
Itche Me Son
Get In Fit In Get Out Get Out [x2]
[Talking:]
Now This Ones For Everybody Thats Right
I Need For You To Try Something Different
Now You Can Move Move How You Want It
And You Can Do Do What You Wanted
Thats Right I Said It
Get In Fit In Get Out Get Out [x2]
If U Want Some Come Get Some
You Don't Want None Come Get Some
Say Itche Me Son
Itche Me Son
Get In Fit In Get Out Get Out [x2]
Some People Might Call You Crazy
And They May Laugh At You And Says You A Fool
But You Cant Care If They Say Cause
Before You Know It They'll Be Following You
Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da [x3]
Thats Right I'm Done
Itche Me Son
Itche Me Son
Do [x14]
Itche Me Son
Do [x14]
Itche Me Son
Pause:
(DON'T HAVE THE SONG ON mp3...i WISH I DID)
I KNOW IT CAN'T BE HEARD...BUT I AM SORRY THAT I DISSAPOINT...BUT I TRY HARD...I WILL CHANGE. BE PATIENT AND TELL ME THAT I AM TRYING TOo HARD AND I DONT NEED TO DO IT...PLEASE BE PATIENT
(DON'T HAVE THE SONG ON mp3...i WISH I DID)
I KNOW IT CAN'T BE HEARD...BUT I AM SORRY THAT I DISSAPOINT...BUT I TRY HARD...I WILL CHANGE. BE PATIENT AND TELL ME THAT I AM TRYING TOo HARD AND I DONT NEED TO DO IT...PLEASE BE PATIENT
